The Magical Connection with 3rd and 4th Cousins

When you look at your DNA matches, you will probably see over a hundred 3rd and 4th cousins. I often hear, “What value are those distant cousins to me?”

Well, I find that 3rd-4th cousins are where magic happens! Magic in building your family tree, finding those precious family pictures, and bringing your ancestors to life through family stories.  Life-changing connections are just waiting for you in your DNA match list.

Just a couple of weeks ago, it happened again… 4th cousin genie magic! By the end of this blog, you’ll understand why I call 4th cousins “your family history sweet spot!”

On Valentine’s Day, I presented a breakfast lecture for the historic Queen Anne Victorian Harper House in Hickory, NC. The presentation was “A Soldier’s Love Story – Secrets Uncovered.” It is the very personal story of my 27-year search for the truth behind my dad’s first marriage during WW II. It was a secret taken to the grave and it haunted me for years… 27 years! I had to know WHO this mystery woman was, WHY the marriage failed and WHY the deep, dark family secret?

 Several serendipitous meetings…

I had invited my Cousin Kaye from Charlotte to drive up and attend the event.

Since our move, I am now blessed to have two wonderful 4th cousins within 1-2 hours from me. One of those cousins, Cousin Susan, totally surprised me! I never expected her to make the 2-hour drive to attend my talk.

Let me give you some background first and explain how and when these two women came into my life…

In Oct 1993, I was deep into researching ALL Roederer cousins in the Louisville, KY area. Louisville is where many immigrant Roederer family members settled. I met Cousin Kaye while she happened to be visiting at her mom’s house. (Serendipity #1)

I always sought out the oldest living members of the different family lines to get the treasured family stories and pictures. Yes, that’s GENEALOGY 101.

I hit the jackpot with family pictures and stories on that family line! Kaye and I kept in touch for a few months as we shared family information. Then life happened… and we lost touch.

Fast forward to 2019... 26 years later! My cell phone rang and I saw “Cousin Kaye” in the window of my phone. I was surprised that I still had her contact information.

The conversation went like this…

Me: “Hi Kaye!”

Kaye: “Rhonda???”

Me: “Yes, you called me, didn’t you?”

Kaye: “No, YOU called ME!”

Me: “No I didn’t, but it’s great to talk to you anyway.” (this was the start of a 2-hour conversation)

Apparently, the “genie gods” and my phone decided that Cousin Kaye and I needed to be in each other’s lives. (Serendipity #2) 

And we’ve been close ever since! We’ve experienced several adventures together, full of hilarious shenanigans which you will hear about in future blogs.

Now on to the next magical 4th cousin… How did I meet Cousin Susan?

No big surprise here – FindaGrave.com!!! I have connected with so many new-found cousins through this amazing FREE resource.

If you haven’t heard of this site, STOP reading right now and check it out… I’ll still be here when you get back.

When Cousin Susan saw so many of her family’s memorials as “managed by Rhonda Roederer”, she reached out. That conversation led to an invitation to visit Abingdon, VA and she insisted that my husband and I stay at their house. If you haven’t been to Abingdon, put this beautifully, quaint place on your bucket list!

In Oct 2018, husband Brian and I took a vacation to the Outer Banks of North Carolina, Historic Williamsburg, Charlottesville, VA and Abingdon. It was a great trip even though we had to change plans on the fly because Hurricane Michael ripped through the area. Being from Louisiana, we are well-versed in dealing with hurricanes and made the best of it!

Spending time with my new-found Cousin was by far the highlight of our trip! We have remained close ever since.

Fast forward to Valentine’s Day 2023 at Hickory’s Historic Harper House…

Cousin Kaye drove up from Charlotte and not being very familiar with Hickory was trying desperately to find a parking place on the street near Harper House.

Cousin Susan, left her home in Abingdon, VA before sunrise and arrived in Hickory 2.5 hours later. This was her first time in Hickory and she also was trying desperately to find a parking place near Harper House.

The two women spotted each other (obviously in the same quandary) and the conversation went like this…

Kaye: “Do you know if I can park here? I’m attending a talk at the Harper House where my Cousin Rhonda is speaking.”

Susan: “I’m also going to the Harper House to hear MY Cousin Rhonda!”

Kaye: “Wait a minute… If she’s my Cousin Rhonda and she’s YOUR cousin… that means, WE must be cousins!” (Serendipity #3)

Cousins Kaye, Rhonda & Susan

Kaye and Susan are actually more closely related to each other than they are to me! They are 3rd Cousins, through Jacob Roederer (brother to my German immigrant ancestor, Christian). They had never met and never even knew of the other one.

Susan brought a family picture that Kaye had never seen; however, Kaye was able to tell her with certainty who everyone was in the picture!

What’s the next step?

Girl trip!!! The Roederer Cousins are hoping to meet up in Louisville for more fun shenanigans one day soon!

 4th Cousins… the family history “sweet spot”

This is just one example of the MAGIC that distant cousins can bring to your life and your research.

Next month, stay tuned for another magical story that just might make you start combing through YOUR cousin matches.

 ROOTSTECH starts March 2nd!

I’m headed to Salt Lake City for the annual International Family History and Technology Conference called RootsTech! I have often described this event as “Disney World for genie nerds.” I’ll have lots to share with you all when I return. I’ll be flanking the conference with research at the Family History Library, hoping to break through some of my personal brick walls.  

This year the conference is being held both in-person and virtually!

You can be a part of this amazing conference FOR FREE from the comfort of your own home by clicking RootsTech Virtual Registration. Over 230,000 registrants so far!

May all your connections be happy ones!

Rhonda